Santa Monica, CA -
TNT totalitarian leader and noted despot El Presidente was showered with accolades this week after he honored his good friend and recently deceased leader of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, by pre-bowling a 2001 series for this week's matchup against Back Door Santa.
"After my first two 667 games, I wasn't sure I had it in me," said El Presidente to Corruption Enthusiast, the state-run newspaper of Cuba. "But I wanted to honor the just and fair leader of Venezuela, my good friend and fallen comrade Hugo Chavez."
According to Corruption Enthusiast, El Presidente held a brief meeting with his closest ally and only witness to the game, Codi "Papas Fritas" Harris, to put together a strategy before the third game.
"I was amazed by his first two games," said Fritas. "I wish more people besides myself, El Presidente's teammate and someone who gains direct benefit from lying about his pre-bowling, were there to witness this historic event. Nevertheless, he hunkered down, raised his intangibles, and bowled a third consecutive 667 game. He's a gym rat with a high motor."
"2001 is an important number to me," said El Presidente. "It was Hugo's favorite number, in that it was the number of corrupt Venezuelan citizens he 'removed' from society each week for loving freedom."
In other news, ESPNBDS has sent 11 camera crews to Bayshore Lanes tonight to document Back Door Santa's first full lineup in over a month. The team was scheduled to be in full force last week, but BDS weak link Dynamite Chris Parish was suspended one game for passing a StegaMaXXX test.
According to sources, this was the second non-failed StegaMaXXX test of the season for Dynamite, resulting in a one game suspension.
And finally this week, where the fuck is my coozie Billy Hyde you mother fucker.

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