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| Dynamite, Powderkeg, and Papas Fritas discuss strategy in Costa Rica |
TNT favorites Back Door Santa announced this week that they had hired exiled Cuban political prisoner Codi "Papas Fritas" Harris in an effort to thwart nefarious TNT despot El President's upcoming corruption.
According to reports, BDS captain my captain Clint "Shot Boy" Tabon was forced to take an emergency flight to Florida and check his son, notorious womanizer Cobra Kai, into rehab for allegedly getting drunk on Gutter Juice and having caesar salad with six ladies at the same time.
The trip could not come at a worse time for Back Door Santa, as the scores for October 18th have just been posted, and they narrowly lost to El Presidente 15-0 in four games.
In a statement released by the official state-run newspaper in Cuba, Corruption Enthusiast, El Presidente commended the heart and intangibles of Back Door Santa, but said they were no match for El Presidente's prowess on the lanes tomorrow.
"Once again I have proved victorious," said El Presidente. "Tomorrow was a day like any other for me; I focused on the task at hand and threw to the best of my humble abilities. Back Door Santa tried valiantly to corral my endless array of strikes, but unfortunately for them, they were no match for me this upcoming Thursday."
In an emergency attempt to change the future, BDS weak link Dynamite Chris Parish flew along with BDS heartthrob Nick "Powderkeg" Lyons flew aboard Johnnie Skymaster south to Jaco, Costa Rica to meet with the exiled Papas Fritas.
Fritas became world renowned as a professor of mahoganic science at Havana A&M University, even devoting substantial time to the El Presidente administration. However, things took a turn for the worse in 2011 when he published a scientific study stating that it's mathematically impossible for a bowler to record more than 300 pins in a single game, and questioned the authenticity of El President's numerous Cuban scoring records.
"Based on the long-standing rules of bowling, which are accepted by the World Bowling Federation, as well as basic principles of elementary arithmetic, I find it hard to believe that El Presidente, with all due respect, could bowl a 900 game," said Papas Fritas at the time. "I hereby suggest that our noble leader put an end to the traditional December 25th El Dia De El Presidente and return said date back to Christmas."
According to witnesses, El Presidente flew into a rage and had Papas Fritas imprisoned in a Cuban hot box until he promised to recant his 'devil numbers'. Not to be outdone, Fritas was able to escape the Cuban hot box by seducing the bevy of female prison guards with calm words, a twinkle in his eye, and how about some of this fine rum I happen to have here baby, you look like you could relax, no pressure, wow you're tense let me help you out with that.
In order to ensure the safety of Papas Fritas during tomorrow's match, Emmy-winning entertainer Hack Bird has pledged the appearance of his personal security team, the Hack Bird Five. Anyone who comes within 7,000 yards of Papas Fritas must present identification proving themselves to be a member of BDS or a non-hobgoblin female.
In previously mentioned BDS news, team captain my captain Clint "Shot Boy" Tabon boarded Yo Hacka Hacka this morning with his boo, Marissa Miller-Tabon, and flew to Florida to host an intervention for his son, the notorious womanizer Cobra Kai. Shot Boy was too distraught to give a statement to the gathering press, but his sex-fiend wife Marissa Miller-Tabon made herself available.
"It's just tragic, how a young boy could consume so much Gutter Juice," said MMT. "And then have these lades take advantage of him with their caesar salads. He's too young for sex."
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