Tensions escalated this week at BayShore Lanes when replacement officials were unable to determine if Dynagirl bowled her first 300 game or not.
According to witnesses, Dynagirl threw what seemed to be the 12th strike of the game on lane 24, and replays clearly showed that all 10 pins were knocked down. The ref standing on lane 23 called it a 9, while the ref who was in the parking lot cleaning his shoes ran inside immediately and called it a strike.
"This has got to stop," said BDS captain my captain Clint "Shot Boy" Tabon. "TNT needs to come to a settlement with the regular refs. It's ruining the integrity of the league, and frankly it's ruining our season. Nobody wants these replacement refs around."
Sources have told ESPNBDS that acrimony has escalated between league members and the replacements refs as the season has gone on. As the refs have proven themselves incapable of making the right call and allowing the bowlers to have a good time, they have become increasingly angry and yelling at the bowlers all the time.
"I don't know how we got to this point," Shot Boy continued. "I mean it's not like the regular refs are fantastic. Rarely do they ever notice that there are two teams out there blue. That said, they didn't yell at us constantly and pick fights all the time. We used to show up to bowling, learn the nuances, smell the rich mahogany, and prepare for some bad calls. As a team we've been able to overcome anything. I mean even if one of us bowled a 209, we could get past whatever happened as a result. But now we know the night is going to end badly no matter what. These refs hate that we love to bowl."
Reporters flocked to BDS' Hermosa Estate to interview BDS weak link and Official Dynagirl Father Dynamite "Chris" Parish and get some insight as to Dynagirl's mood after the unfortunate situation.
"She's beyond consolable," said Dynamite. "I mean imagine being 1 year old and having spent your entire life at the lanes, hoping for that 300. She was crying when we got home. I tried to talk to her, but all she did was point to stuff, I couldn't even make out what she was saying. I just agreed with her. 'Yes, that's a lamp.' 'Yes, that's Bella.' 'Yes, that's a door.' 'Yes that's the lamp again.' 'Yes, I think you're pointing outside, or possibly the door.' I mean, then she just took off running. Ran right into the wall, turned to see my reaction to determine if it was time to cry. Unfortunately, I had the slightest look of concern on my face, so she remembered that she was in pain."
Sources close to the situation told ESPNBDS that several league members flew to Cuba on Wednesday to meet with TNT megalomaniac El Presidente and implored him to settle the dispute with the regular refs. El Presidente then released a statement through Corruption Enthusiast, the state-run newspaper of Cuba.
"El Presidente has always prided himself in making decisions that are best for the league as a whole," the statement read. "However, even a fair and balanced philanthropist such as myself cannot influence human decision in this case. Unfortunately we should have never let these refs in the building from a logistics standpoint."
In other league news, officials at the Hay-O Clinic announced that they would debut this week a new seasonal version of the 2x4, their award-winning diet sandwich that has become the #1 selling foodstuff in the United States.
Having already helped millions of Americans lose trillions of pounds, the tasty sandwich is comprised of two one pound llama patties, four two pound beef patties, applewood-smoked bacon, mayo, garlic aioli, smoked apple bacon, gouda cheese, Miracle Whip, Canadian bacon, a pork chop, potato salad, organic arugula, Jimmy Dean's sausage, sausage gravy, and light balsamic dressing piled onto a 1/4 pound buttermilk biscuit.
The autumnal 2x4 will replace the 1/4 pound buttermilk biscuit with a 4 pound buttermilk waffle bun infused with a pumpkin bacon glaze.
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