Dynamite: Hero?

2/3/11

Santa Monica, CA -

Often called the "heart" of Back Door Santa, Dynamite Chris Parish will need more than that to compete
this week after having back replacement surgery on Tuesday.

Parish injured his back last weekend after a five-day move to his new beach estate. Sources indicate that
his fiancé has never thrown anything away ever, including broken chairs and 9,000 pairs of shoes, which
resulted in seven truckloads needing to be unloaded by Parish along with the two 16 foot moving trucks
that had already been used.

"You can't measure heart, but you can measure major spine trauma," said his surgeon, Dr. Nick

Riviera. "He was so incapacitated that we had to perform emergency back replacement surgery so he
could walk and bowl. What a country!"

This is a critical week for Back Door Santa, who started the season 1-3 but has since unleashed a convoy
of excellence on the rest of the league. Let by their ringer, Hacksaw John Serris, and infused with mad
skillz based on the play of #1 draft pick Nick "Powderkeg" Lyons, BDS is playing with high confidence and
hopes it continues.

"We are pleased with the medical progress of Dynamite," said team captain Clint "Shot Boy" Tabon in a
statement to the media. "I'd like to say that I'm very humbled by the thousands of fan letters showing
support for Dynamite during this difficult recovery. By the way, they were all from ladies."

Quote the Raven, "What A Shine."